


Pieces

by DeanRykerStrom



Category: Glee
Genre: Anal, Angst, M/M, Sex, mentions of abandonment, mentions of insecurity, mentions of past infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 22:18:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRykerStrom/pseuds/DeanRykerStrom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sebastian ran into Blaine at Scandals and took him home afterwards, he was not expecting to be the one to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been working on this for days now. So this is my reaction fic to 4.04 and for a Blaine-stan and someone who is deeply triggered by infidelity due to personal reasons, this is damn painful to write but it needs to be done. It’s from Sebastian’s point of view. If you guys enjoyed this, please review and like. Thank you.

PIECES

Sebastian knew that he should be happy right now.  He should be rejoicing, gloating, and thanking every God there was ever in existence.  After all, tonight was a very good night.

Sebastian Smythe had finally gotten Blaine Anderson under him, writhing, panting, moaning, and willing.   _Very very willing._

It was everything Sebastian had dreamt of.  He had lost track of the number of times he had jerked off thinking about Blaine, about his hazel eyes, about his compact but lean physique; and of course, about that ass, that delicious ass which at the moment was taking Sebastian’s cock oh so very well.

Blaine was hot and tight, it was even better than Sebastian had imagined.  He tightened his grip on those cheeks and lifted Blaine’s hips up to get a better angle.  Sebastian thrust in, hard and fast, feeling the way Blaine would clench around him every time, gasping and moaning with an occasional whimper.

It was almost perfect except for the fact that Blaine had his eyes closed the entire time. 

Even now, as Sebastian pulled back and plunged in again, hitting Blaine’s prostate as he did so, all Blaine did was letting out a soft gasp as he seemed to shut his eyes even tighter.  And was that tears Sebastian just saw?  Holy fuck, those were tears!  Sebastian wondered if he was hurting Blaine, but if he was, surely Blaine would say something, right?  But then again, thinking back, this whole thing had been a bit rushed, and Sebastian distinctly remembered Blaine telling him that he didn’t need much preparation.

_Well, shit._

Something was definitely not right with this.  Sebastian wanted to stop thinking and focus on the glorious sex that he was having right now, except it just didn’t feel so great anymore.  He was now thinking back at when they ran into each other at Scandals earlier in the evening.  The despondent look and the distress that were on Blaine’s face, his body language that showed signs of someone who was carrying the weight of the world, and the way Blaine had stuttered and tripped over his own words as he told Sebastian that he and Kurt were having serious complications, which Sebastian quickly assumed that the two had broken up.

As much as Sebastian Smythe enjoyed sex, and as much as he loved the fact that he was finally nailing Blaine Anderson, the idea of being ignored was not appealing to him.  Sure, Sebastian was used to being used – and yeah, it hurt to always be the one being used – he had thought Blaine would be different. 

This was really frustrating, Sebastian almost never thought of anything when he was having sex and all these thinking and analysis were taking the joy away from the actual fuck.  But this was Blaine Anderson and God fucking damn it if Sebastian wasn’t going to get his full attention while he was pounding the fuck out of Blaine.  Sebastian snaked his hand down to wrap his fingers around Blaine’s cock, only to find that Blaine was flaccid.

“Fuck this!”  Sebastian swore under his breath and pulled out.  Sebastian remained on top of Blaine and propped himself up on his elbows as he studied Blaine’s reaction.

“Wh-what was— ?”  Blaine seemed confused.

““If you’re not gonna enjoy this, then I sure as hell am not gonna put in the effort.”  Sebastian tried to keep the irritation out of his voice. 

“I—“ Blaine was starting to look distraught.  Sebastian wondered if the other boy was going to have a meltdown.

“You were elsewhere, this whole time.”

“I’m sorry.” Blaine bit his lower lip, even in this light Sebastian could see the tears welling up again.  The pained expression Sebastian saw made his heart clenched uncomfortably. 

“Look, you can’t fix what’s in your head in your bed.”  Sebastian tapped at his temple gently.  “Actually, this is my bed, but same difference.”

“Can you—can you get off of me?  I want to sit up.”  Sebastian shifted over so that Blaine could move.  He noted that Blaine seemed to curl into himself as he hugged his knees to his chest, looking much more vulnerable than his years.

“You want to tell me what the hell happened?”  Normally, Sebastian could care less about other people’s private life, but given that this had to do with Blaine Anderson, he just couldn’t seem to stomp out the curiosity that was nudging at him.  “I think I deserve to know after how you’ve just used me.”

Seeing Blaine flinching at those words made Sebastian felt somewhat guilty for his harshness, but he was pretty sure that Blaine wouldn’t want to be treated like a delicate flower right now.  He watched as Blaine wetted his lips nervously and started from the beginning as he spoke about the loneliness he felt without Kurt around, the feeling of not being able to fit in anywhere, and the constant isolation and emptiness he seemed to feel at every turn. 

“He—It’s like he’s moved on.  I mean, I thought he was distancing himself from me.  I could never reach him, it was like he wasn’t there even when we spoke.”  Blaine rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.  “I tried to talk to him but— I couldn’t.  I was so stupid.  I thought—I thought he might’ve been with someone else already because why else would he ignore me, right?  I can’t—I can’t believe I even doubted him!  He was just busy this whole time.  It’s my fault.  I was insecure and I thought he had moved on, I—I wasn’t thinking.”

“Well, if he’s been avoiding you like you said, I’d be suspicious too.” Sebastian tried to find the right words to say, but this was much harder than he thought.  “But go on, what happened?”

“I’m just so alone.  I couldn’t talk to anyone.  I saw Kurt everywhere.  Everything reminded me of him and it hurt so bad!  I know—I know it was wrong but I wanted to feel wanted and cherished.   I know I shouldn’t have contacted Eli and met up with him, but I—“

“Wait, did you say Eli?”  That name sounded oddly familiar.  “The one on Facebook?”

“Eli—I, yes.”  Blaine looked surprised.  “You know him?”

“You cheated on Kurt with Eli the Lighthouse Guy?”  So Blaine went to Eli instead of him.  Sebastian wasn’t sure how to describe his feelings at the moment.  It was a mix of jealousy, bewilderment and anger.  Not only was Sebastian Smythe getting Kurt’s sloppy seconds, he was getting Eli’s sloppy thirds – if there was even such a thing.  If that wasn’t a humbling experience, Sebastian didn’t know what was.  “And yeah, I know him.  You know you should always stay away from lighthouses.  They sink ships.”

“What are you talking about?”  Blaine looked confused.

“Nevermind.”

“I’m an awful person.”    Blaine sniffled.  “I cheated on the love of my life, I completely screwed this up.  Kurt wouldn’t even talk to me anymore, and—and he has every reason to never speak to me again.  I sure as Hell wouldn’t forgive myself.”

“Wait, why would he talk to you if you guys were broken up?”  Sebastian was pretty sure he was missing something here.  He was under the impression that Blaine and Kurt were no longer together, but from the sound of it just seemed like Kurt was giving Blaine a major timeout.   And if it was just a timeout and not even a break, then technically speaking, Sebastian Smythe had just helped Blaine Anderson cheat on Kurt Hummel.

Well, that was certainly new.  As much of an exciting sex life Sebastian Smyth had had in his life, he had yet to cheat on someone or really help someone cheat for real.  There was a reason Sebastian didn’t do relationships, they were always too complicated.  Of course, Sebastian wasn’t about to point out his realization to Blaine.   After all, who knew what Blaine would do in his state of distress?

“I don’t know!” After a moment of silence, Blaine finally choked out.  “I—I just want him to acknowledge me again!”

With every passing moment, Sebastian was starting to doubt his decision of even approaching Blaine at Scandals tonight.  Sebastian was really no good at this comforting thing since he had yet to comfort anyone before.  This was a big ball of awkward all rolled into one.

But mostly, Sebastian hated to see Blaine upset.  Sebastian could deal with Blaine’s disappointed face when he led the Warblers to perform “I Want You Back”, he could dealt with Blaine’s angry words when Blaine said Sebastian’s apology meant nothing to him; Sebastian could deal with all of those but seeing Blaine sad and crying, as Sebastian now realized, was not something he could stomach.

“So why were you at Scandals then?”  Sebastian decided that he should probably keep Blaine talking while he tried to think of a way to get Blaine out of the funk.

“I don’t know.  I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” Blaine was silent for a while as he contemplated the question.  “I—nobody wants me, ever.  Not my family, not New Directions, no one.  I don’t deserve anyone to love me.  I—I guess I should always be alone.  I deserved to be used like the whore that I am.”

It was one thing to hear Blaine lament over his loneliness, but hearing him calling himself a whore was a whole new level of surprise to Sebastian. 

“Wait, hold on a min—“

“I’m a bad person who doesn’t deserve love.  I must’ve always been horrible, that’s why nobody ever cared about me.  The one person that did, I—I messed it up.”  Blaine continued on, tears pooling in his eyes before spilling over and dropping off those impossibly long lashes.  “I—I think that was why I was at Scandals.  I deserved to be used and be hurt.  This—it’d be my punishment.  I deserve this.  I deserve all of this and maybe even death.  I deserved to be hurt, I—“

“Stop, Blaine.  Stop it!”  Sebastian couldn’t even stand to listen to the rest of what Blaine had to say.  “You don’t deserve to be hurt, or killed.  Just … stop this nonsense.”

“You don’t understand!”  Blaine cried out.  “You—you should’ve seen Kurt’s face.  He looked like I killed him.  I’m pretty sure I did.  I broke his heart.   I—I am not even human.  I—I—oh, God.” 

“C’mere!”  Without waiting for Blaine to scoot over, Sebastian took the initiative and pulled Blaine into his arms.  Blaine seemed to break down then, it was as though the last floodgate had been open as Blaine let his tears flowed, sobbing out his anguish and pain into Sebastian’s shoulder.  “It’s okay, just let it go.”

This self-loathing, the way that Blaine seemed to think he was undeserving of anything good in this world, was unjustified.  When Sebastian heard Blaine mentioning death, he knew he couldn’t just sit there and listen anymore.  He had been there before, the dark times, as Sebastian would call it.  There was a time in his life when he felt unloved and abandoned, when the depression became so much that Sebastian had considered ending it all.  But none of that was worth it, no amount of the self-harm could ever make things better.

Sebastian wasn’t sure how long Blaine cried, but eventually, the sobbing subsided until all Sebastian could hear was an occasional sniffle.  Sebastian rubbed Blaine’s lower back in what he hoped to be comforting gesture as he carded his fingers through Blaine’s curls.  “Better?”

There was another sniffle.  “Slightly.  I still feel like crap.”

“Not gonna lie, but knowing you, you’ll probably feel that way for a long time.”  Sebastian felt Blaine stiffening in his arms at those words and decided to continue talking.  “I want you to listen to what I have to say, all right?  Just listen till the end.”

“Fine.”  Blaine nodded.

“You made a mistake, but it’s not the worst thing in the world.  You may think the world’s ending now, but it’ll get better.  What you did didn’t make you the worst person in the world, it made you human.”  Sebastian paused as he tried to find the right words.  “Sure, there’s no excuse for what you did, but you’re not any less of a human being for doing what you did.  You deserve just as much care and love as the next person, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”

“I don’t feel that way.”

“Of course you don’t, because God forbid Saint Anderson should even breathe wrong.”  Sebastian rolled his eyes.  “You have no control over what’s going to happen in the future.  There’s no use trying to beat yourself up over this.  If you two never get back together, it is what it is.  Some things aren’t up to you and torturing yourself over it isn’t going to make things any better.”

Blaine was silent.  Sebastian hoped that meant Blaine was listening to him.

“You’re a good person.  Actually, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met.  You’re forgiving, selfless, and you often put others’ well-being before yours.  Remember when you almost got blinded?  I think that says helluva more about you as a person than this transgression ever did.” Sebastian shrugged uncomfortably, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious as he realized he had just tried to offer life advice to Blaine.  “Well, I’ve said all I want to say in this matter.  Take it for what it’s worth, but I don’t think you deserve to be hurt and you certainly don’t deserve to die.”

Blaine swallowed audibly before looking up at Sebastian.  Blaine definitely seemed a lot calmer now.  “I just—I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I wouldn’t have any advice on salvaging relationships, especially when it’s a conflict of interest for me.” Sebastian saw the corner of Blaine’s lips twitched a little at his remark and immediately felt a small sense of relief.  A hint of a smile was still better than the tears, and that was when Sebastian realized that he really wanted to put a smile back on that face again.  “But what I can say is what you shouldn’t do.”

“What?”

“Stop going to Scandals and stop trying to be so damn self-destructive.”  When Blaine gave him a wry look, Sebastian felt the need to clarify.  “I go there for a different reason, to shepherd lost sheeps like you back to my lair.”  Sebastian ruffled Blaine’s hair playfully, hoping to lighten the mood.  

“Quit that!” Blaine tried to duck and wave Sebastian’s hand away.

“I want you to promise me two things.”  Sebastian wasn’t counting on Blaine to listen to his words but he sure hoped so in spite of their rocky friendship.  “And I think you owe it to me after the grief you’ve put me through tonight.”

The look of guilt was back on Blaine’s face, and it almost made Sebastian feel bad.  However, when he considered that what he was doing was essentially for Blaine’s good, the guilt went away.

“Next time when you feel undeserving of all the good things in the world, call me.”  Sebastian held Blaine’s gaze to make sure the latter was looking at him and listening to every word he had to say.  “Before you decide to do anything reckless, just remember that there is someone out there who will give a damn if something happened to you.”

“Okay.” 

Sebastian breathed an inward sigh of relief when he heard Blaine’s agreement.   That was actually the most crucial one.  The next one would be more of a precaution and reinforcement to the first one, especially since Sebastian still didn’t trust that Blaine’s depression and potential self-destructive behavior could be curbed that easily.

“Now, the second one.  Going forward, we’re meeting at Lima Bean every week on Tuesdays and Fridays.”  Blaine looked as though he was about to protest.  “Uh-uh, don’t even start.  You need a friend, or at least someone there for you until this blows over.  You already told me there’s no one, I’m offering to be there.  Now stop being an ungrateful drama queen and just say yes.”

“I—well, is putting me down really going to make me feel better?” Blaine countered.

“The fact that you even have incentive to argue with me right now shows that it’s an improvement already.”  Sebastian had his smirk in place.  “Well?”

“Yeah, okay.  Okay.  Sure.”

“Good, then it’s settled.”  Sebastian lied down on the bed and motioned for Blaine to join him. He slung an arm over Blaine’s middle while Blaine tugged his head under Sebastian’s chin. “Now let’s go to sleep.  This whole psychiatrist thing is damn tiring and I’m not even getting paid out of this.”

When there were no responses for the next fifteen minutes, Sebastian simply assumed that Blaine had fallen asleep.  Sebastian had started to feel himself drifting off when Blaine spoke up again.

“Thank you.”

Sebastian decided to feign sleep when he heard it, because the last thing he wanted was any additional awkwardness.  Sebastian really wasn’t sure what would happen between him and Blaine in the future.  Whether they would evolve into something more or stay status quo, Sebastian really couldn’t tell.  All Sebastian knew was that he couldn’t stand to see Blaine being so melancholy.  Somewhere deep down, Sebastian knew that he was probably heading toward a bridgeless precipice; but when push came to shove, Sebastian knew he’d leap either way if it meant seeing Blaine smile again.

(END)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm contemplating writing a continuation where Seblaine actually got together, I'm really not sure at this point. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this. If you like my Seblaine, please note that I post my Seblaine drabbles and fanarts on my Tumblr and I'd be honored if you can follow me there at "rykerstrom.tumblr.com".


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